brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So much rum. So many feels.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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