Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In America we eat man semen.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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