you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
