and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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