I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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