Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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