Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
