she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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