Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Ladies don't puke and tell
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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