Whod you bang
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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