Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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