you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
