walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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