i barfeds in our rink
I skipped work to stalk him.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
