You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
