I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
