Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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