I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
