i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
