I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize