just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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