just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
