HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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