they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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