i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
40s are totally the cure
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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