Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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