i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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