I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
