I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
