it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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