You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
