hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
