The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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