How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
