Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
