Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I want her autograph on my taint
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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