I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
