No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
