5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
