The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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