She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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