Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
