What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am mentally ready for anal.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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