Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
