sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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