I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
