Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
