You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
