lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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