Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Randomize
