he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
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Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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