I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Randomize
