i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
