the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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