I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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