dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
