What did we do last night that was yellow?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize