when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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