yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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