Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
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