using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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