dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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