Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
